“I do my best work at the last minute.”
I heard this hundreds of time. From fellow students when I was in university. From coaching clients. From friends. And, above all, from myself.
At first it didn’t matter, until it did
For me, it started in elementary school. As a misfit in my social world, I loved that books provided a wormhole to different universes. From there, evolving into a strong writer was easy… relative to my elementary school peers. Churning out the requested paragraphs took minutes, so I could spend hours doing more interesting stuff (like reading!) until it was almost time to turn in the assignments.
As I advanced through school, the bar kept on rising, but the behavior didn’t change. The pain from it just grew. Still, I continued getting strong results from last-minute work. My high school senior yearbook entry says: “She doesn’t write her papers the night before, but on the very day they are due!” Part of me was proud of this, while also feeling shame. I must have known, deep down, that in squeaking by deadlines I was avoiding the hard work of trying to rise to my true potential.
With every “A” grade I got for a paper written at the last minute, a thicker neural pathway formed in my brain. Procrastination is a self-reinforcing habit.
In college and university, assignments became more complex and required all-nighters to complete. Depeche Mode’s Waiting for the Night played on a hypnotic loop while I hammered away at a complex project due in mere hours. The buzz from caffeine amplified with the adrenaline high of academic risk-taking. Procrastination is addictive.
The grades remained good enough to eventually get accepted in a PhD program at a prestigious research university. And there I met my match.
I was determined to graduate in four years. But one can’t pull an all-nighter to finish a doctoral dissertation. It was time time change my habits.
Simmered ideas develop better
It’s possible to hack one’s way through school and pass classes, but there is a point when it’s time to become a professional. This happened for me at the PhD level, when my work was to be assessed as that of a junior peer by established scholars. Thankfully, I realized early in the program that I wouldn’t be able to hack my way through my comprehensive exams or dissertation. That’s when I discovered time and project management, improved my learning processes, and started building grown-up habits as a writer.
The same is true today in my life as a content creator publishing blog posts and YouTube videos not just for my personal entertainment, but as a marketing channel for my business.
My goal is no longer to get a good grade by impressing a bored and depressed 10th grade teacher.
Now it’s about creating insightful, original, and helpful content for my audience, in hopes of retaining them as readers and grow their trust so they consider working with me in the future.
With my ideas, I’m trying to help others, not just snatch a good-enough grade. Such ideas get more clear and powerful over time.
Of course, I can publish imperfectly developed ideas. In fact, because I value regular publication more than perfection, I do it all the time.
My procrastination habit can be managed
I did not vanquish my procrastination habit. I just realized that it’s a wounded, sometimes angry multi-headed dragon I can only appease with gentle caring habits.
No glory! No heroics! Just tiny habits that together weave a web that – most of the time – protects me from falling back into the well-worn groove of resistance and delay.
The scars from two decades of procrastination are forever healing. Sometimes, they reopen under pressure.
I consider myself not a cured procrastinator but a recovering one. But now I know how to care for myself and prevent procrastination from causing so much anguish.
The short-term pain of confronting my fear and anxiety about writing and creating is worth the long-term reward: clear ideas that serve others and support my growth, from both a personal and a business perspective.
My actual best work happens when I start capturing my ideas early, develop and organize them over time, and write several versions iteratively over several days, weeks, and even months.
And yours will, too.
Waiting won’t make your work better. Just get started now.
Do you recognize yourself in my story? Supporting others who struggle with procrastination and work avoidance is a very rewarding part of my career today as I do habit coaching on the coach.me platform. If you are curious about what small habits could do for you, make sure to sign up with code BRIGITTEWEEK to try 7 days for free – and to check whether we are a good match. Learn more here.
A key habit to manage my procrastination tendencies is my weekly review and planning ritual. If you struggle with some of the same issues, you can see if it will also help you by downloading the template I use here.